我的独角戏，默念着无言的对白，
等待着他人的开场白，等待等待。。。。

had a bad day today i guess.
it seems like things are going kinda rough lately.
an the emotional side of me don't seem to take things that well.
i know things won't go my way,
but aint this too much at a time?
"the distance between us, is growing too wide",
Cest La Vie?! now i don't know,
"maybe its just me..." ?
but the loneliness and the emptiness inside,
just dig in to me, like a leech, sucking off me.
i'm losing......... to nature, to myself.
o well, like anyone wld care...
i'll just laugh it off and be fine,
but deep down inside i know its just not right.

am i unbreakable?
maybe not, since i'm already in pieces to start with.

The PERIOD is here again.
The PERIOD brimming with emotions.
The PERIOD with much pain.
YUP. welcome to a girl's life,
and today's just one the many many many PERIODS of our lives.

Thanks arh Vincent, what ever you said came true, okay maybe not the rain and the breaking down of the gym apparatus, nope those didn't happen, in fact, the sun is scorching and the gym is in full working condition, but nonetheless, i do not want sharks trailing after me in the pool nor do i want to look like i have labour pain pulling weights, thus, only my plan of bballing materialized.

tmr's the chalet!!! haha. finally....
o well..... back to ouran-ing...
hmmmms.. some how something told me that hikaru will fall in love with haruhi
KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

hey there, whoever's still reading.
haha. its SIONG's birthday today!!!!
i've been reminding myself the last few days,
guess i didn't realise its the 19th alrdy.
neways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR GIRL!
hahahaas. time really flies man...
sigh, and its been so long since the 4 of us met =(
and mahjong session did not materalize too.
SORRY!!!!!!!!! we need to have quality time spent together after my As yo. =DDD
really miss you pple HUGE TIME!!!!!!!
and 骏!! i dreamt of you!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHA. i shall not tell you what amusing things happened because it got toooooooooooooo
RIDICULOUS. hahahahaa. yes yes.

o well, prelims are over. like wht something lao die said " prelims are over,although in ways more than one" YUPP. not for the first time, ITS OVERR. alls screwed and done.
BUT. one happy thing about prelims or rather for lit. is my FIRST essay that got past 11.5!!!!! OMG. something worth cheering about, for my standards. yes, so those who have been doing well all this while, no, i dont get very lucky with OTHELLO, and Ms Kwok. hahaha. i really really X infinity , need to brush up on my language. already been discounted and disadvantaged given my very cheena background, ( and that did'nt even pull me an A at least for chinese. =X ) so all the more, i need to work on that sucky expressions of mine.

post prelims activities???
- mahjonged, and lost money..
- MAMAMIA!!!! short shopping spree =DDD , took a neoprint with the girls, like for the first time in JC life
- dinner with wifey!! =DDD HAVE A KITKAT MY DEAR,and my beloved girls doing promos, JIAYOU!!!!!! LOVE Y'ALL! so may the force be wth you. =DDD
- HOT SHOT, WGM and OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!!!!!!!! OMG. King though retarded at times, has hes own sensitive/emotional/charming side. =DD don't question why i put charming under the same category as sensitve and emotional, some times, guys with A LITTLE bit more emotions seemed more attractive =DDD
- still creating my own fantasies in my own lala land~~
my own idealistic world, too impractical for this pragmatic society.
OUCH. yes, reality hurts.
- REVELATIONS(you knw wht i mean, *Winks WInks* .....and more to come. well, at least i got over the major one =DDD
cheers cheers cheers

anyway, packing stuffs now for tmr.
finallyy.. i get to swim, gym and ball abit on my own.
hahahaa. get the sweat going, burn some fats...
and wow, buffet at night, so maybe all's down to square one. X|


ALRIGHT! shld sleep before my mum screams again.
or i'll prolly drown in the pool . hhahaha
okie!! NIGHTS~!!!!!!!!!

怎样，才不会让心一再受伤
怎样，才能脱节，这一段难关
不能放，还是不想放。
没有谁能退让。
我只能克制，试着隐藏。

哦。
我累了。
有人想带我离开吗?
牵我的手，带我走。。

who's he?
the one in my dreams.
that keeps appearing.
when will i feel you?
in closer proximity.
rather than occasion rendezvous
in the castles i've built up so nicely.

许哲佩-气球

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任你选择
黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任我选择
飞的高高越远越好
剪断了线它就死掉
寿命短短高兴就好
喜欢就好没大不了
越变越小越来越小
快要死掉也很骄傲
你不想说就别再说
我不想听不想再听
就把一切誓言当作汽球一般 随它而去
我不在意不会在意 放它而去随它而去
气球
飘进云里
飘进风里
结束生命
气球
飘进爱里
飘进心里
慢慢死去

hmmmm. if u wanna prank the singer at the pub, try out this song. LOL

my gawd.
i seriously do not know whats up with her.
the moment she sees me home,
she tries to put chores into my schedules.
nvm if she does tt.
but at least stop nagging!!!!!!!!!
my gawd, after mopping the floor guess wht i hear from her
" 在家里什么都不会做。地也不会抹，早餐业不会弄，衣也不会去洗，在家里靠你我死掉了"
like hello. guess who moped the floor ? and washing clothes meant HANDWASH, not like i've never done it, in fact many times, when she always disregard it.  guessed who made breakfast for her? and guess who will be getting her lunch later?!?
and guess whos gonna buy ingredients for dinner?!?!! GUESS WHO???!!! and there she goes again n again, NAG N NAG AND NAG AND NAGGGGG.........
cmon luh, ive got 3 H2s n 1 freaking econs paper to MUG FOR BY MONDAY!!!!!!
SO F*ING STOP NAGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the moment i sit down, she will try to get me out of the seat to do smth,
she seriously find joy in it huh, to spoil my routines/schedules.
or wait, maybe thats alrdy in my routine.
HELLO?!?!!! this is not ANOTHER, CINDERELLA STORY?!?!
shes not my step mum!!!!!!! so why?!?!?! i thought parents will understand their children's need to mug for their exams?!?!!
ARGH. 17 going to 18 years of her NAGGINGS and DISRUPTIONS.
someone need to start to learn the wonders of the washing machine for a start, i do not see why she need to hand wash EVERY piece of clothing, MOP the floor EVERYDAY. 
and the thing is. half of the chores are done by my bro/dad/ and me sometimes whenever she gets the chance to ask me to do it.
and she just plays the role as the commentator. NAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAG.....

my gawd.
i seriously do not know whats up with her.
the moment she sees me home,
she tries to put chores into my schedules.
nvm if she does tt.
but at least stop nagging!!!!!!!!!
my gawd, after mopping the floor guess wht i hear from her
" 在家里什么都不会做。地也不会抹，早餐业不会弄，衣也不会去洗，在家里靠你我死掉了"
like hello. guess who moped the floor ? and washing clothes meant HANDWASH, not like i've never done it, in fact many times, when she always disregard it.  guessed who made breakfast for her? and guess who will be getting her lunch later?!?
and guess whos gonna buy ingredients for dinner?!?!! GUESS WHO???!!! and there she goes again n again, NAG N NAG AND NAG AND NAGGGGG.........
cmon luh, ive got 3 H2s n 1 freaking econs paper to MUG FOR BY MONDAY!!!!!!
SO F*ING STOP NAGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the moment i sit down, she will try to get me out of the seat to do smth,
she seriously find joy in it huh, to spoil my routines/schedules.
or wait, maybe thats alrdy in my routine.
HELLO?!?!!! this is not ANOTHER, CINDERELLA STORY?!?!
shes not my step mum!!!!!!! so why?!?!?! i thought parents will understand their children's need to mug for their exams?!?!!
ARGH. 17 going to 18 years of her NAGGINGS and DISRUPTIONS.
someone need to start to learn the wonders of the washing machine for a start, i do not see why she need to hand wash EVERY piece of clothing, MOP the floor EVERYDAY. 
and the thing is. half of the chores are done by my bro/dad/ and me sometimes whenever she gets the chance to ask me to do it.
and she just plays the role as the commentator. NAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAGNAG.....

OMG, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. 
I TYPED LIKE ONE WHOLE ESSAY AND I ACCIDENTALLY NAVIGATED MYSELF AWAY TO THE ADVERTISEMENT PAGE.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I WILL NOT RETYPE. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
EYB

你笑着说他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安那么沉重
只有你不懂

她霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

她霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说都是错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多

是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

hehe.wifey's back at my place. =D
hs and cheryl coming later. mug mug mug.
coz we spent half the day playing ball again..!!!
hahaha. i ran too much barefooted.
walking on painful bubbles!!!!!!
=| really hungrry since i dint have lunch.
yay, time for dinner!!
JIAYOU and JIANAO pple!!!!
CHIONGS!!!!

rain pour outside of my window.
gotta start work soon.
dint do much today.
time slips by so fast,
i think i'll need an hour glass. so i'll realise the urgency.
seeing it slip away physically makes me panic more.
yup. i shall try to get one for myself
shld be heading down to wrl to mug tmr.
5th level! im coming!!! hahaha.
and i shall not dine with faith any more.
gosh, she totally hates me so much!!
she attempted to murder me with cheese.
(Why did we even add on a cup of cheese?! ) 
and gross me out with the things she said.
lol. maybe its a good thing, i can diet with her!!!!!!
ohhh. im currently hooked on this song below.
called 适应. its by MILO BENG!! hahaha. =DD
the acoustic version damn nice. 
i still love SAM =D 

没想过爱情会下落不明
寂寞都不忍心
故事的结局走不出背影
我只能静静的
风吹醒 那些曾经
转过身 我用眼泪淋尽
心 该怎么学会去适应
那些没你的安静
我 也曾伤心的
收起所有回忆
却总是忍不住 不断的放弃
没想过爱情会下落不明
寂寞都不忍心
故事的结局走不出背影
我只能静静的
风吹醒 那些曾经
转过身 我用眼泪淋尽
心 该怎么学会去适应
那些没你的安静
我 也曾伤心的
收起所有回忆
你却一直住在心里
是谁都无法代替
我的心 该怎么学会去适应
那些没你的安静
我 也曾伤心的
收起所有回忆
却总是忍不住 不断的放弃
该开始了 该怎么去安静

alright . back to work
JIAYOU!!!!!!

I have you to be with
Everything will be easy
晒的阳光 淋的雨滴 都值得回忆
I have you to be with
才懂心不够近才怕距离
心电感应 绝不断讯 会如影随行
曾灰心以为 我来错了世界
太多想法很另类 找不到人了解
当我说的感觉 牵动著你的脸
互动的泪 让我们变得特别
你是我的魔力
想要勇敢就想你
一眨眼睛 把不如意 都变成流星
你是我的魔力
心情不好我就想你
删除忧郁 复制甜蜜 笑容不结冰
曾灰心以为 我来错了世界
太多想法很另类 找不到人了解
当我说的感觉 牵动著你的脸
互动的泪 让我们变得特别
你是我的魔力
想要勇敢就想你
一眨眼睛 把不如意 都变成流星
你是我的魔力
心情不好我就想你
删除忧郁 复制甜蜜 笑容不结冰
幸福是间电影院
没有单人的座位
要肩碰肩 才能看好戏上演
你是我的魔力
想要勇敢就想你
一眨眼睛 把不如意 都变成流星
你是我的魔力
心情不好我就想你
删除忧郁 复制甜蜜 笑容不结冰
I have you to be with
Everything will be easy
晒的阳光 淋的雨滴 都值得回忆
I have you to be with
才懂心不够近才怕距离
心电感应 绝不断讯 会如影随行

inspiration from rewind ( p.s. i love you ) 

can we just rewind,
play back the time.
wasted days in sighs
o don't you try remind 
when u're no longer mine.

got no idea wht im doing. hahaha.
just finished vineyard man,
and the preview tricked me!!!!!!!
i thought he confessed!!
wth , he drank coffee for a confidence booster.
zeji: i like you
her: *spits out coffee* 
zeji : *sees the ring on her finger*
her: " whats tt again?"
zeji : i like u very much..... errr.. as a friend!!!!!!

=.=

things won't out the way you want them to be, 
well, face it, this is life. cruel, cold and heartless. 
just like economics. haha. yes ms poh, i'll rmb tt.
my mood's been going up and down like a roller coaster.
one side of me tells me and other fellow emo-ers ,
that life goes on, yeahh. life's lidat, cest la vie. ( thnx J , for reminding me tt yest. lol, its right on my old pencil case)
been telling myself that life's not a bed of roses, 
and yes, not everyone loves you. 
and face it, life is like THE SIMS game, 
you talk to that person about common interests, its a +++ 
you probe into something you shouldn't or touch on a wrong topic , its a - - -
you don't talk for sometime, the bar just decreases at a slow rate. no matter how slow, it still decreases
so face it , you scaly freak!!!!!
you can't keep everyone happy,
you can't keep relationships the way they are everyday.
you can't keep the friggin irritating balance!!!!!!!!!!!
 
lol, i am really born in the wrong era, i prolly fell from the wrong hole, into the 21st century.
perhaps my emotional development was up till the romantic era,
still living in a world of love , poetry and prose.
in sweet songs , rainbows and lollipops.
so i come here,
pricked by the thorns, engulfed by dark clouds.
lost in the thorn bush maze, only to find myself trapped,
in rags, torn and tattered,
the heart's all shattered.
in the cold hard cruelty,
i try to find solace,
while i drench in tears for days..

alright, i shall cheer myself up with math,
wow right, what a good way to cheer a person up.
haha. i want pink roses, and watch the sunset while rowing the boat.
"dayung sampan! dayung dayung sampan!" 
lol!!! not that kind luh!
the NOTEBOOK kind.
oh gosh. i forgot to mention!!!! i watched notebook yest night!!
as recommended by amanda. hahaha, if only i knew it was the same thing, i wld have gotten that book instead of the lost boy.
hmphs! nvm, i will go get it another time. haven started reading the lost boy yet. dun need any more depression triggers. lol! 
okie pokes! im back to my very complex complex nos. yes, its definitely as complex as it sounds. numbers sound bad enough, and they had to add in COMPLEX.
hahahahaaa. you can all tell, im not very sane. =D

刚到骏哥的部落格游览。太久没上了，也发现，时间真的过得太快了！
一路走来，太多纷纷扰扰，太多忧愁烦恼。人的关系，太脆弱。
一下子，轰轰烈烈，一下子，冷冷冰冰的。。
人的关系，便适度，太高了吧？
也许是我自己建立的围墙，也许是我莫上的那层保护色。
让其他人，看不清自己，那丑陋的自己。。
我想，我不该浪费太多力气。
去寻找另外一个自己。
也许等待那个奇迹。
会没那么费力。
太多感伤，太强烈的字眼。
也许我应该让沉默代替，
我那些无畏的泪水。

For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately
you’ve been acting so cold (didn’t you say)
if there’s a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don’t want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

I know that I’ve made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesn’t make sense to me now that you’re gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

lone lonely soul, poor leen's a cold!
man, life gets so empty....
i feel like i've lost a battle.
a battle that i fought alone,
against myself.
how weak man can be.
how vulnerable.
yet, so strong,
strong enough to cause the self to suffer.
life gets so cold, it burns me. 
like the eternal flame, it burns me. 
in the hollow shell im kept in.  
i've kept myself in.